Brothers and sisters ...

Can I see another's woe,

And not be in sorrow, too?

Can I see another's grief,

And not seek for kind relief?

~ William Blake

Shortly after Bill died, I gravitated towards others who had been grieving the loss of a spouse before me.  My grief was so great, so consuming, I needed to find a place to grieve with others who understood.  I am the first in my circle of friends to have lost a spouse therefore, I went hunting on cyberspace.  This suited me fine because no one really needed to see my crumpled up face - my crying face is not a pretty sight!  Nothing like you see in the movies where their makeup doesn't even run - this is all out red grimacing face!  After all, it hurts like hell!

With time, as I became more comfortable in my grief, when only a pretty tear rolled gently down my cheek, I did not have the overwhelming need to find others to witness my pain.

More recently, upon hearing of a tragic accident which brought another into the Sisterhood of Widowhood, my heart went out to her.  I remember thinking that I would never want to go back to those first moments, days and weeks.  I wanted to reach out to her, but did not know how nor did I know if I was on solid enough ground myself to offer support.  I know.  I know!  I chickened out!  However, I do know that if circumstances throw us together and we have a chance to talk, we will be strangers no more.

Last night, I came across a new blog - John's blog.  There, staring at me was the warm picture of a couple.  His wife passed away in November of 2010 and my heart went out to him.  Although I am not that much older than he is, somehow I needed to reach out.  Let me qualify "older", as in, at this business of grieving!  John writes beautiful poems from the heart.  I will add him to my list of links shortly. 

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I sense that this is my time to be a student of Grieving 101.  Sadly, it will also be my time one day, to be available to these tender hearts.