Dear Bill,

I miss the classy, gorgeous you.  YUM ... and *Sigh*  I don't believe that I could ever be so fortunate to be blessed again with such a wonderful man; you were everything, inside and out.  *Groan* - I miss your beautiful face - your beautiful tall person!  My writings have not altered these memories; I know that I even came to love the imperfections in you and in our relationship.  We were by far perfect, but your love of my imperfections made me love you that much more.  I also suspect that it was the same for you.  After all, who would see through the action of a crazy lady cleaning a fridge at 2:20 a.m. and realize that she was in pain?  You did.  All through our relationship, you understood my "manic" moments such as burning old journals.  You knew how to bring peace.  You knew how to not add to my grief by chastising me for my actions, or trying to "explain" them away.  You quietly watched and waited until I needed to talk.

I remember you saying more than once, that we were good together because we understood each other.  We knew how to laugh! How can I ever hope that this will be possible for me here on earth again? 

So for now, keep an eye on me - because there is still more fridge cleaning, carpet ripping and de-cluttering to do!  Let me know that I will be okay!

I love you and miss you more!