Friday, April 22, 2011

Brothers and sisters ...

Can I see another's woe,
And not be in sorrow, too?
Can I see another's grief,
And not seek for kind relief?
~ William Blake

Shortly after Bill died, I gravitated towards others who had been grieving the loss of a spouse before me.  My grief was so great, so consuming, I needed to find a place to grieve with others who understood.  I am the first in my circle of friends to have lost a spouse therefore, I went hunting on cyberspace.  This suited me fine because no one really needed to see my crumpled up face - my crying face is not a pretty sight!  Nothing like you see in the movies where their makeup doesn't even run - this is all out red grimacing face!  After all, it hurts like hell!

With time, as I became more comfortable in my grief, when only a pretty tear rolled gently down my cheek, I did not have the overwhelming need to find others to witness my pain.

More recently, upon hearing of a tragic accident which brought another into the Sisterhood of Widowhood, my heart went out to her.  I remember thinking that I would never want to go back to those first moments, days and weeks.  I wanted to reach out to her, but did not know how nor did I know if I was on solid enough ground myself to offer support.  I know.  I know!  I chickened out!  However, I do know that if circumstances throw us together and we have a chance to talk, we will be strangers no more.

Last night, I came across a new blog - John's blog.  There, staring at me was the warm picture of a couple.  His wife passed away in November of 2010 and my heart went out to him.  Although I am not that much older than he is, somehow I needed to reach out.  Let me qualify "older", as in, at this business of grieving!  John writes beautiful poems from the heart.  I will add him to my list of links shortly. 

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I sense that this is my time to be a student of Grieving 101.  Sadly, it will also be my time one day, to be available to these tender hearts.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Ginette,
    Nice post as usual! Take care of yourself first. It has taken me awhile to even come forward to try to be of assistance to others. I agree though, it really tugs at the heart.

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  2. Hi Gineette,

    Thanks for your kind comments. Here's a link to one of my first posts where I talk about poetry and grieving: http://jaloysisus-birchcreek.blogspot.com/2011/01/on-poetry-and-grief.html

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