Again and again ...

Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak

Whispers the oe'r fraught heart and bids it break.

~ William Shakespeare

And for this reason, I blog.

Bill, always my #1 fan, inspires me always.  He would often chuckle at the words I wrote in a card or in the many letters to him.  I remember being at a wedding about a month or so before his death, where the couple circulated a book requesting that we include a message or piece of advice for them.  Without hesitation, I grabbed the pen and filled our page ... the other couple seated at our table took the book and read what I had just included.  The wife looked up and said, "How do I top this one?  This is beautiful."  Bill said with a twinkle in his eye and a great deal of pride in his voice, "She's good with words ... and a bit of a show-off!"

My first days of grief were made easier - or more precisely saner, because I was able to release the mounting pressure of my unspoken grief through the written word.  In these early times, I also had many friends who would listen to The Story - the story of the day Bill died.  They were wise and knew that I needed to tell the tale again and again.  By doing so, I felt grounded in the real world.  That this really did happen and that is why I was feeling the way I did.  I was beginning to believe that it really did happen.

As time went on, I often felt that I was shutting down - or many were now becoming uneasy with the recounting over and over again - not sure which is which.  The pressure was building and I often felt that I would soon go mad.  There was less reason to tell The Story and more reason to share my journey with grief.  My journals were without an audience, and as should be, life for others was moving on.  The birth of my blog, a place to share, a space to release the pressure.

I often offer to those who are supporting a grieving friend, ways to support.  Listen.  You may have heard The Story over and over again, or something of their "emotional" temperature for the day over and over again ... simply listen again and again.  One day, when you are actively listening, you will hear a whisper of hope.