On Thursday evening, after cleaning up the kitchen, I looked out my back door and groaned. The snow had not been cleared since late December and was blocking access. I'm thinking I really must get that deck cleared for safety purposes. Time was right, weather was the best and I get to go out and play in the snow, albeit with snowshoes! Here I go, another half-baked hair brain idea! I am famous for this ... difference is, Bill used to be there to rescue me.
Slip on the snow pants, play jacket and pull the snowshoes from the garage. As I'm strapping them on, I noticed that the strap that actually keeps the snowshoes strapped on your boots is too long ... would really need another hole in the strap to secure these better. No time, I think with impatience, I want to get the deck done.
I made my way to the backyard with some difficulty but it was well worth it! It was gorgeous back there. The snow was coming down dancing on a gentle breeze and the trees were beautifully decorated by the day's worth of snow. I stood in the moment, enjoying not only the scenery but the many beautiful memories with Bill in our backyard. Memories of turning it into a Christmas winter wonderland with lights and Christmas ornaments, memories of being out there at midnight building a family of snowmen with the year's first sticky snow to surprise the boys in the morning, memories ... so many beautiful memories!
I finally get to work on the deck and enjoyed the physical exertion offered. There was some ice buildup just in front of the screen door so I opened the door to call out to my niece. She brought me a hammer and went back to her business. After chipping away at the ice, I looked around one last time and turned the knob to open the door. *Groan* ... she locked the door. I rang the doorbell and waited ... rang again, this time a couple of times and waited ... now over and over and over again ... arrrr ... where is she?
Looking back, I noticed my snowshoes; a light suddenly spilling from the sky highlighting my way back home! So I strapped them on again, knowing that the front door is not locked. However, I did not choose the path of least resistance, the one I had used to come to the backyard initially, the one that I had plowed with my snowshoes. No! I decided to walk all the way around the other side of the house ... the longer way to the front, space void of solid footing because the snow had not been disturbed since the beginning of winter. Shortly after starting my trek back to the front door, I started to think I made a mistake. The slack in the strapping causing my snowshoes to slip sideways, planting me into the snow. The second time I lost the blasted things, I ended up waist deep in snow. For twenty minutes I wiggled and heaved and wiggled some more to bring all of me above the crust. Just as my last foot was breaking free, so did my boot! I had to brace myself on my trustworthy snowshoes to avoid planting headfirst into this lovely pit of snow. Panic was starting to set in. Breathing deep, I plunged my foot into my frozen boot and strapped the snowshoes back on. I stood back up and a couple of steps forward I find myself again spread eagle in the snow. I'm now thinking that initially I would have been mortified to have the neighbours seeing this crazy lady playing in the snow, but now I really hope someone sees me! Just a little past the half-way mark I decide to change strategy. Time to drag myself through the snow, physics telling me that laying flat on my belly would offer me a better success rate. So here I am, casting my snowshoes forward as an anchor and dragging myself forward. Toss, drag, toss, drag ... snow now collecting into my oversized snow pants and hands numb from a lack of coverage. Toss, drag, toss, drag ... panic making my eyes large as saucers! Breathe old girl, keep in the moment. Toss, drag, toss, drag. Looking back, I can see this large trench my exercise was creating. Don't look back, look forward ... toss, drag, toss drag. Coming around the corner, I see with great relief, just a few more yards to go. Quick look around, still no neighbours watching! Okay, I'm okay ... As I get to the last leg of my trek, there is one last obstacle ... the snow bank! I tossed my snowshoes over the edge and heaved myself over the bank. Too late, miscalculated the solidity of the obstacle and was heaved forward, rolling over and over down the other side landing on my back facing the front door. I had arrived!
I picked myself up and moved quickly to the door, hoping no one had seen me! I reached for the knob only to find that it too had been locked. I started to ring the doorbell, over and over again. Panic started to burn the back of my throat ... more banging, more ringing. *Groan* ... guess I will have to get the neighbours involved. I tried one last time. My niece finally came to answer. She had been upstairs watching Netflix wearing her earphones.
So frustrated, I simply slipped out of my jacket and snow pants and made my way to my room. A quick look at the clock informed me that the 2 minutes' walk around the house had taken me 40 minutes. I threw myself on the bed and fell asleep.
I woke early the next morning and looked outside. I could only stand there and laugh at myself while rubbing my sore muscles.
Now, although this story in itself is funny enough ... there is a clincher! Time to leave for work. I start looking for my keys ... panic raised its ugly head as I remembered the last time I used them. I had accessed my car trunk before setting out on my journey. I desperately grabbed my jacket hoping that they were safe and sound in the pocket. I was relieved to hear the tinkle of my keys! I took them out, heard Bill's laughter in my mind as I just then realized that I could have used them at the back door last night to let myself in!
Great story, Ginette; love your sense of the absurd humor of it all.
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