So young, so carefree and beautiful. We were celebrating Bill's 52'd birthday.
Bill took being a father seriously. I remember asking him if he had an interest in getting involved with something outside the home. He simply said not yet. He figured that there was enough of me involved and that one of us needed to be home for the boys. Interestingly enough, this was not said with any bitterness but simply as a matter of fact. Bill was proud of my involvement with the community and with my work as a doula. Besides, he said, your interests tend to bring in money, as mine would cost.
I often write, I will live enough for two. What a tall order. I have noticed lately, how it seems difficult to be away from home. Sometimes I think, who will be there for them if something happened to me? Since Bill's death, life seems so fragile.
I hear you trying to make some sense of it all by wanting to live enough for two. Maybe all you need to do is to live well and let things fall into place for a while. At least, that's what I try to do, although I must say I'm making quite a mess of that right now:-) <3
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