My six great losses ... Diane a rebirth!

New to Montréal, with really only one contact.  An elderly lady with a great big heart.  She offered me a place to stay for a bit when I first arrived in Montréal.  One evening, her daughter Guylaine and friend Diane came over for coffee.  The friendship with Diane was instant!  It was great to meet new people and people closer to my age. 

It did not take long for Diane to include me in many of her activities and I met her husband and family.  Diane was expecting their first child.  We were kindred spirits.  She loved to laugh, loved to play and was very much in love with her husband.  I felt like part of the family.

This was a very short-lived friendship.  Too short.  Her beautiful baby boy was born and I watched my friend grow more sombre.  I was no longer invited as often to their home and when we did get together, I always felt like we were hiding.  We fell into a routine of outings, phone calls and much sharing of the heart.  I was invited to her son's christening and first birthday.  It was on his first birthday that Diane informed me that she was expecting their second child.  I witnessed something different in their relationship at the little one's birthday party.  Diane, this lovely vibrant strong woman, was but a shadow of herself around her husband.  She was subdued and very much the servant.  This was so different from the first encounters.  I asked the obvious questions when we met next and she simply laughed it away, laying claim that her pregnancy hormones were making her more "Betty Crocker" happy housewife! 

By this time, I had found my first apartment and started my first job.  One night, I heard a frantic knocking at my door and it was Diane with her baby boy.  She was bruised and bloodied.  She took refuge for a few days.  As many battered women do, her first attempt to break free did not last long.  She went back to him and things were good until the second child was born too early; we buried her little girl.  Then the cycle started up again.  The second time, she went to a women's shelter where she received all the supports and filed for divorce.  They helped her find an apartment and she returned to work.  Her circle of friends rallied around her and she became vibrant once more!

Not long after her divorce, she met someone very special and they soon fell in love and were planning their wedding before she gave birth to his child.  We who loved her dearly were so very happy for her!  We were all preparing for the happy occasion which would have been in a month.  The only dark cloud hanging was the child custody issue.  She did not want her ex-husband to have access to the little boy.  It was in the courts.

On Tuesday afternoon, I saw my friend Guylaine and her husband pulling up to my place of work.  Thinking this odd, I went out to the parking lot.  It was obvious that she had been crying and had a dazed look on her face.  I opened her door and crouched down to take her hand.  She looked into my eyes and simply said, "Diane is dead."  This was my first experience with sudden death.  The only word that comes to mind is surreal.

Diane had been on her way to work that morning and her ex-husband waited for her at the metro station and stabbed her multiple times.

Diane was a wonderful, kind-hearted person, who was happiest when those she loved were happy.  She had a way to help you out without making you feel like a "charity" case and sometimes it was only in reflecting that you realized that she helped make something happen, taking no credit. 

This story is not about her death.  This story is about an amazing woman, who found her way back to love, and doing so has left this world a better place.  She taught me that faced with adversity, you put your chin out, square your shoulders and put a smile on, to face the challenge dead on;  to do otherwise, you lose.  She did a beautiful job of rebuilding her life and was not bitter for the experience she had lived.  She had learned to love again.

I will honour your memory and not be made bitter by my experience!