I'm back and as the cliché would have us say ... in more ways than one. My sister calls it my little summer vacation; I call it my little mental holiday.
I have been away to witness the beautiful wedding of my niece and my new nephew (in-law). In 1984, my niece was the catalyst to my return to family after a six year absence only to meet Bill three days later. At eight months of age, it was her resilience to be part of the living that inspired me to the same. It only seems fitting that twenty-seven years later, as I gazed into her smiling eyes as she embarks into a new chapter of her life that she continues to stir me. Back then, my efforts were supported by my lovely sister and her husband as did my newly formed relationship with Bill. Twenty-seven years later, my sister and her husband continue to play an integral part in my return to life, as does Bill.
When we first got to the resort, I realized that there was no connectivity. I groaned inwardly because I was no longer able to reach out and text my sons. I have grown to rely on being able to just grab my cell phone when I need reassurance that they are okay and text a quick message that I am thinking of them. This weekend, I learned to trust in "what will be, will be" and that this is only a chapter of my book titled Eternity. I was simply away, and they would be there when I got back.
Instead, I walked the beautiful paths taking pictures, played in the beautiful water and enjoyed the physical connection to my family present. I grew in being in the "here and now".
Through the weekend, I felt Bill's absence at times; however, to acknowledge his "absence" is to trust that he is away, but not gone. In that, I no longer feel the need to "live for two" for he is always with me, he is forever with us.
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