Everyone can master a grief but he that has it. ~ William Shakespeare
I took a different route this morning. Starting my walk around the lake, I was reminded of Albert Einstein's words, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." So when I came to a fork in the path, I chose to leave my comfortable routine where I knew where I was going and took the path to another set of streets in hopes of changing up the scenery and the physical difficulty of my walk. It was not comfortable.
Recent events have led to a long break from work and as I tried to make sense of these events, I was brought back to basics. Why am I doing this? The first few days off, I thought I needed to do this because others expect it of me. But this morning, I had an "ah ha" moment. I am my own best judge of what I need to be doing as a griever!
Along the way I have accepted the gentle nudges from my family and friends when they thought I was becoming too much of a recluse or knowing that my worst fear is to become bitter through this process, have been honest enough with me to say so when they saw it. More recently recognizing that I am in a bit of a "funk" I have secured counselling that suits me. I am my own best judge, accepting enlightenment and recognizing where I am going.
So what do I do with this balance between being my best counsellor as it pertains to my grief and the needs of others? I am frustrated with this feeling that I now have a timetable on my journey to healing.
As I rounded the corner of the final lap of my walk, the same path that brings me back to my car every morning, I realized that I am back to basics - eat, breathe and pray.
Nothing wrong with those basics, my friend.
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