This past week, I have been offered a great distraction from my grief. I worked attentively on my niece's wedding video montage. Pretty pictures inserted here and there, sprinkled with video clips of the two reminiscing when they met and ending on where they see themselves as a couple 25 years from now. I worked late into the night, sitting at my kitchen counter until the bones in my butt actually ached from sitting all day long. You would think that the content of the montage alone would be difficult but it was refreshing to have something so distracting to work on.
A couple of times I sat down to write a blog but the words were not there and at first I was feeling a little guilty about not getting down to the business of grieving; someone else's timetable gnawing at me. Then I gave myself permission to not only breathe but to take a breather from grieving to keep my emotional health intact.
As I burned the first copy of the video yesterday afternoon, I was elated to have a final product. I scooted off to a ball hockey game - another great distraction and then off to my sister's for a much needed shower! *groan* bathroom completely ripped out, no shower, no bath. Driving home from spending a great couple of hours in prenatal preparation with a sweet young couple, something was settling in my heart. My grief came to tap me on the shoulder, reminding me that I have a journey to follow. Again with the car!
It is such a balancing act ~ when to take a breather and when to acknowledge the full measure of my loss! In both circumstances, I take Bill along for the ride. Bill is always with me. He is with me when I laugh and when I cry.
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