Good Grief Charlie Brown ...

The okay times seem to be more frequent now but the sad times have now been made that much deeper.  Always knew that nothing is free in life - need to pay the piper at some point!  I have been on the seesaw of grief for the past little while and I am just beginning to realize that indeed, it is part of healing.

There is a beautiful passage, I would like to share ...

"Perhaps we can learn to accept these mood swings, recognizing the reality of each, knowing light gives way to darkness and darkness to light." ~ Martha  Whitmore Hickman

I remember stating to a friend, "I don't recognize this grief; it is new and a stranger to me."  This was a little while back, when I had first gone back to work.  In the beginning, there was only sadness so the mood was pretty even.  Then with the beginning of work, there were conversations outside my grief and planning for more than the next moment.  It felt good.  What I had not bargained for, was the change in the depth of my sadness when it did come around.  As if I didn't have enough with the mood swings that come from my change of life ... I now have this added dimension?  Good Grief Charlie Brown!

So, in the spirit of walking with my grief, and preventing my throwing a frying pan across the room out of frustration and pain, I spend many hours in my room.  I spend time knitting, reading, chatting with other bereaved widows(ers) and talking to you through my blog.  Seems safer here when the days are darker.

P.S.  I would like to comment on one passage that I struggle with ... "which is what your loved one would want (or not want) for you."  I am so not there and just don't get it!  Did someone hold a séance and sang Kum Ba Ya without me?  The Bill I know would understand my needs even if sometimes it means locking myself up in my room.  This will certainly not be part of my repertoire when speaking with a bereaved person; as I hope it will not be part of yours.