Holding on to Bill

"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge, myth is more potent than history, dreams are more powerful than facts, hope always triumphs over experience, laughter is the cure for grief and love is stronger than death." ~ Robert Fulghum

The events of the past week has brought me back to holding on tight to my grief instead of holding it lightly in my heart so that it can slowly lift away from me.  I realize now that what I had not come to terms with, is that part of my connectedness with Bill was his mother.  She was after all, still here physically.  She now is also "physically" gone.  I dread to seeing my extended family leaving tomorrow because there is another "physical" connection leaving.  Who knows what would cause them to ever return to this town and I am not much of a traveller.  So I am back at holding on tightly to my grief because it somehow justifies what I am feeling - the lack of "physical" connection to Bill.

Tomorrow is a new day and a continued resolve to relinquish the "intense" grief and enter into a new relationship with Bill.  One that will allow for the memories to bring me laughter because he did love to laugh, that will make space for hope and dreams and that will continue the legacy of our love for each other.

For today, there is only the "moment".  The moment that does have his family with me.  In this, I am okay.

PS - 15 years ago today, my father was called to Heaven.