A blessing. Yesterday, my sister shared with me an experience she had and how my openness with my grief had given her the tools to deal with a difficult situation. A blessing! Like the phoenix who rises out of the ashes, my grief helped someone be there for another's loss. Kudos to my sister for her insight, and her active listening skills. She was quick to recognize that loss is not always found in death; it is part of life.
This by far does not make me an expert on grief. You would think that after Bill's death, I would be a go-to-gal with all of the answers. However, I am quickly realising that the more I know, the less I know. As previously stated, it is all about the relationship you have with the loss; be it death, the loss of employment, the loss of a precious time in one's life. This much I do know, less words is more powerful that too many. There is no need to belong to some secret society to know that much - and if you thought you did, welcome to the world of grievers for at some point in your life, you joined this club through one loss or another. *extending my secret handshake* Welcome!
There is one thing though, that I would like to share. The power of remembering with the griever. I can't remember the last time I was asked the simple question, "How did you and Bill meet?" Now there is healing! Most times, when I am in a larger group - gathering - everyone avoids the question or even commenting on how Bill made them laugh at one time or another. I give you permission to ask! It is not by asking the question that you are saving me from grief; indeed, it is by not asking the questions or making the comment that you are adding to my grief.
Bill is real to me. Even in death, he remains alive in my memories. Every time we meet and you don't ask these questions, I wonder, why he is so quickly forgotten? I have a few Earth Angels who still introduce themselves as friends of Bill and Ginette. Be still my heart. I love it! He may be gone physically - but he is still very much alive in who I have become. Thank you my Earth Angels - you are helping me heal! For those of you who have "dared" ask the questions - thank you for your patience in listening for a second, third or fourth time to the answer. A widow's mind is on playback mode!
Today's blog is an important one - for those who support . Please forward this link to all those who are in a supportive mode. It is important to go down "Memory Lane" with those who have suffered a loss.
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