It amazes me how life goes on. I was at my whiteboard calendar yesterday, posting the upcoming meetings. Two meetings here, three on that day and now five out of town. There, the board is filled with neatly printed reminders that life goes on. I lingered on the 27th and blinked. The 27th - 14 months. Only a few short months ago, I would worry about my ability to stay focused for the week prior to the anniversary date, let alone be present in the moment on the day. I am now simply blinking an acknowledgement.
With that, there is much I don't miss ... the daily meltdowns, the dread of marching my butt to bed where my loneliness was magnified, the endless waiting for the door to open or waking up only to find that it was real and not just a dream.
Now that I have recommitted myself to my work and to my interests, the days seem to fold onto each other and the proof is all the red ink on my whiteboard or the black dots on my Blackberry. I end the day thankful to come home, thankful to make my way to bed and thankful for the little time left of the day to spend with Bill. Finally alone to remember him. All of this is mine. Including all the lovely memories.
Staying busy is good, my friend. It is so important to remain thankful.
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