I will always be with you ...

As Christopher said to Winnie ... "If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together ... there is something you must always remember.  You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.  But the most important thing is, even if we're apart ... I'll always be with you."

Always with me I know!  I sometimes think that on those occasions when I do feel alone, he is off exploring the splendours of Heaven, or busy sitting on a cloud having a great old chat filled with trivia with family and friends who were excited to be with him.  I imagine him surrounded in peace, with love and completely void of worry.  How can I take offence to that?  These were the moments in life on earth when I was most happy, when I saw him happy.  I can take my moments of loneliness knowing that he is busy doing what he loves best; all of this is what made him so special and why I always loved him more than yesterday and knew it would always be less than tomorrow. 

Sometimes, when my sad, self-centred ego is lonely, I busy my mind with the questions I would ask as a means to lessen the solitude ...

Hey Bill ...

·   are you watching this; or are you all caught up in one of your soapbox dialogues with my dad?  Is this why I am feeling so alone?

·   What would you be doing right now, if the roles were reversed?  Would you be wondering what would I be doing faced with the mounds of decisions to be made in the next few months?

·   Can you change things or make things happen for me?  And if you could, would you?  Have I made all the right decisions?

·   Would you have thrown or boxed my things so quickly?  What would you have kept that was mine?

·   Do I really have to talk out loud when I want to be with you, or is just thinking these silly questions enough because let me tell you, most people really don't understand when you suddenly start talking to your dead spouse!

·   Do you just sense me around, as I do you, or do you actually see me?  I love the thought that you actually see me because there will be no surprises when I finally get to be with you in Heaven.  Chances are, I will look more like a grandmother than your wife when I do get to be with you.  Or do we revert back to our young selves when we get to Heaven? Or do we finally find the perfect simple spirit form?

·   What's it like to be without worries?

My list of questions go on and on ... guess he has been busy!

I came across this quote on other widow/ers blogs and have since had a lot of fun with it.  I hope you do too.

... I will always be with you.