My life has been interrupted. I have been set on a different course and I wonder where this is all leading.
The events of our lives, all the twists and turns Bill and I have had to adjust to since 2002 has taught me the preciousness of each day and to see each day as a gift.
As I begin to dare to dream, I am reminded of the importance of a kind word to someone, of never taking for granted that those I love so dearly will be there tomorrow and to live with the knowledge that no matter how much I want something, God has His perfect plan for me. After all, His perfect plan included 26 years of enjoying Bill's love and being strengthened by this love.
· It is okay to cry out in the moment, "This Sucks!" but it is not okay for me to dwell there.
· It is okay for me to cry myself to sleep, but I must remember that the morning brings a new opportunity to find that one moment that brings peace.
· It is okay for me to feel lonely and abandoned in a moment of despair but to remember to live the moment trusting that God will carry me to another.
On this dark drizzly morning I miss Bill like crazy, but I know that in a short week or so, the back yard will be glowing with the warm wonderful lush green Bill loved so much. On that morning, I will take myself out of the garage and drink my coffee out in the back yard; I will grieve you in the sunlight and live enough for both of us.
Hi Ginette, long time no see. Your new look is lovely!! It does suck sometimes in fact a lot of times doesn't it. I got tired of crying myself to sleep, now I have an army of Teddy Bears. All large so I can cuddle with them otherwise, I'd not be able to sleep. I know of another widow, for 6 years, has a shirt that she sleeps with beside her, in the morning it goes in the bag so that she doesn't lose his "scent" Gosh the things we have to go through.
ReplyDeleteWell said, Ginette.
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